An evening with Anupam Kher - actor, author and speaker.
email: ramked.blog @gmail.com
It was late evening on July 26th at the Le Meridien in Chennai, India. The event was the Nasscom HR conference. The room was full with nearly 500 people and the energy was terrific.
Anupam Kher was on stage, dressed casually, and was the motivational speaker for the evening. He started off by saying, “I am not going to lecture you on anything. All I am going to do is tell you my story."
Right there, I knew he was going to be naughty and infuse our minds with pearls of wisdom from his adventurous life.
And… indeed he did!
He shared his childhood days, how he was raised near Simla in North India, in a family that was not particularly famous for good grades (marks!) in class. He quipped that he averaged 37% in his classes, which made him a family hero of sorts. His family had simple needs and laughed a lot. He said, “when you have so little, anything you have brings happiness.” A beautiful reminder for all of us who are always chasing the “next” thing!
Early days of struggle as an actor
He talked about his arrival in Mumbai to be an actor, how he lived in a small shelter in a chawl (a large tenement house) with a dhobi (clothes-washer) as his neighbor and had to sleep at Bandra train station on most occasions. However, along the way, he had earned an important asset - a gold medal from the National Institute of Theater. He laughed at himself (and made us all laugh) when he said, “I was a young actor and was going bald. Who would want to assign a hero role to a balding actor?” He quipped that in his first gig as a movie actor, he was “probably the youngest person in the industry to play the role of an old man.”
Today, 450 movies later, Anupam has not only acted in Bollywood movies in India, but also in cross-over projects including, The Silver Linings Playbook with Robert De Niro, Bend it Like Beckham, Bride and Prejudice, etc.
Fortitude - what keeps him going...
In an engaging interactive session with the audience, he indicated that what kept him going was his courage, his desire to constantly experiment, laugh at life and be happy all the time.
Considering this inner drive was shared by a man, who, during the making of the super-hit Hindi movie, “Dilwaale Dul Haniyaa” had a stroke and Bell’s Palsy (where the jaw is twisted to one side due to partial paralysis of the face... caused by dysfunction of the cranial nerve), it was a wake-up call for all of us on how to keep oneself going, in spite of setbacks. He shared with us how he went against his doctor’s advice and completed his role in the movie. The director had smartly chosen long shots to depict Anupam. Those of us who have seen and enjoyed the movie umpteen times were amazed by this behind-the-scenes story.
A very simple fact he stated was that acting was like any other profession. He said something like, “there is nothing special about it; one needs to continuously go at it and be tenacious.”
Celebrating Life (and Death)
On another note, he shared his values and clarity on celebrating life. When his father passed away, he said to his mother, “Father was a man full of life and he loved Western music. Shall we honor his departure from earth by celebrating his zest for life?” When his mother acceded to his request, he brought in a rock band and invited guests to the funeral ceremony to dance all night. I thought that was very touching and a very wonderful way to honor someone. This reminded me of African traditions, where, according to the Tanzanian theologian Laurenti Magesa , funeral rites simultaneously mourn for the dead and celebrate life in all its abundance.
After the session, while I was sipping tea at the hotel restaurant, I noticed Anupam was having dinner with friends at one of the other tables. As you would expect, on multiple occasions, fans approached him and interrupted his dinner. He did not have any body-guards or bouncers and hence, was very approachable. I counted that he got up from his chair at least 8 times, walked to the side and posed for a photo and obliged his fans with utmost courtesy and dignity. Lot to learn from this simple man!
As a Leadership Coach, I help bring clarity and purpose in leaders all over the world. In listening to Anupam, I was amazed by the sheer conviction, courage and clarity of the man as well as his simplicity. His desire to laugh at life, ability to re-invent himself constantly, commitment to work and story-telling abilities are compelling.
Thank you, Anupam Kher for your inspiration and for sharing your beautiful life-story with us.
